Tag: automatic thoughts

Recognise the need to change and…

Figure 1 understanding change

This is simple, just not easy; how do I begin to recognise the need for change? First thing is to start paying conscious attention to what is going on in my life. Don’t just let life happen to me. Begin to notice what is working well for me in life and what is not? What patterns of thinking and behaviour am I following? (Psychologists say  for some of us,  many of our thoughts are repetitive) How are they serving me? Or not?

Figure 2 Impact

What is the Impact I have on others? What is the impact they are having on me? It may help if you can keep a daily note or journal, it need not be elaborate, just enough for you to review after a month and be able to link back to that thinking or behaviour pattern.
Knowing you cannot change others, only yourself, then work with the journal and pick out the thing you want to really make a difference in.
For Example:-

– In meetings, rather than backing down and not thinking of an adequate response till ten minutes later when the ‘moment’ has gone. Create a way to give myself time to think of a response, that I can give more in the moment and then go ahead and give it.

– Change my constant pattern of thinking that a lot of other people are just, dare I say it, stupid!

Lets use these two examples (Respond in the Moment) RIM and (People are stupid) PAS
I read somewhere that there are three reasons to change:-

1 Too painful to stay as we are
2 Boredom
3 Realising we can

For my two examples I’ll cite reason 1 for the RIM change, I’m fed up being downtrodden in meetings and reason 2 for the PAS change, in other words I’m bored thinking of people like that and I wonder what it would be like if I changed and thought of them differently.

Using the observer, we can now begin to recognise each time the RIM or PAS pattern arises.
This is important because in order to effect the change, we need to  pause and ‘catch’ the pattern before it has run through to its conclusion in order to do something different.

Think about what you may want to address and change, perhaps as suggested, start a simple journal to highlight what that might be.

Think about how you will  be  different when the ‘cue’ in reality arises.

What you will do differently?

Remember it is only you who changes you 🙂

 

How do you know you are dreaming?

At night, when you are asleep, how do you know you are dreaming?

Unless, you have learned to dream lucidly, you don’t know you are dreaming, until you wake up!

Why am I asking this question?

Most of the thought patterns you follow during each day are automatic, they play out just like a dream, you are in them, following them,  but not aware of what they are (that’s how the brain works, it stores patterns to ‘help’ you, by not having to pay conscious attention to every single little thing, that it is faced with, moment to moment). Trouble is, some of the patterns you learned earlier in your journey are not always helpful, in this situation right here, right now, (some are of course)  and that’s why you need to wake up sometimes, to what  your thought patterns are and where they are ‘taking you’.

Ask what are my thoughts about this?

What is my thinking here?

You may think you are fully awake, you’re not, you’re following thought patterns.

You need to observe those thoughts, be aware of them

You need to really wake up, so that, as you become more aware of your thinking in any given context, you choose to change that thinking to something that is more resourceful, something more helpful. You respond to the situation, see The Journey.

How many times today did you react to something happening, to someone saying something?

How many times today did you respond to something happening, to someone saying something?

I will discuss Responding vs Reacting  in a future Post in the BLOG