Month: March 2018

Why do I do what I do? Part 2

 Part 1 Why do I do what I do?

Part 2   (Quite Long 😐 )

Following on from Part 1, this provides a little more detail on the levels

The Logical levels detail

Figure 1 Logical Levels

Environment
When considering human behaviour, it is important to note that it will always occur within an environment. The environment will affect behaviour and of course behaviour will affect the environment. Examples are people behave differently when locked up in a penal institution and also, if you consider the World-wide organisation Greenpeace, it is constantly telling us our behaviour as a species is having major effects on the environment.
Thus there is a link between where we are and what we do. We can consider also that working within, for instance, a large corporation, puts us in an environment where certain behaviours are expected, allowed etc. You may also consider that technology / tools / infrastructure are part of the environment.

Behaviour
So knowing there is a strong two-way link between environment and behaviour then we can look to see if the environment is appropriate and conducive to the behaviour desired.
It must also be very clear at this level, what specific behaviour(s) is/are being addressed, they need to be described.
The next level to consider is given when we ask the question does this person, or group of people know how to behave in the desired way?

Capability / Competency
Now we are at the level of competency, again there is a two-way linkage What we know how to do will affect our behaviour and the feedback we get from behaving in specific ways will increase or maybe decrease our competency levels.

A good example is when we learn to drive. When faced with having to behave as a driver does for the first time, we recognise that our competency is low and we need a lot of assistance to learn the desired behaviours, until they become locked in as unconscious competency.

So when observing behaviour and noticing it is not what is desired, we need to ask, does the person or group of people, really have the knowledge, skill, capability to behave in the desired way? In fact are they able to utilise the environment (technology – tools – infrastructure)

We now need to consider what the person or group of people believe in order to understand the reasons behind exhibiting specific behaviours or just as commonly not exhibiting those behaviours

Beliefs
As we get down into the level of beliefs then we are getting close to the essence of the person and it is interesting to note that if you wish to discuss beliefs with a person or group constructively (and this is one of my beliefs 🙂 ) then you need a high level of rapport and the language tonality is probably gentle.
As people grow, they form beliefs about all sorts of things including what are good and bad things to do at work. These may be influenced by colleagues, previous Managers, Fathers, Mothers, schoolteachers, people in public life, personal experience, all sorts of things. What’s important to consider here is, beliefs will affect whether we want to learn new ways, whether what is being proposed makes sense (we check the new proposal against our beliefs of, for instance, good and bad, if it makes sense then the behaviour will possibly follow). Switching beliefs is sometimes called generating Buy-in and is extremely important if we want to change behaviour. Another check we will do at this level is ‘How important is it that I do this’? If I believe its important then I’ll do it…” My boss and her boss in a room all day telling me about it, makes it important in my judgment”
To summarise, if I believe something then I will look for evidence to support that belief (and find it by the way 🙂 )..and behave in ways that support the belief. So fundamental to new behaviours is beliefs that back them up.

Note:- New beliefs may need to be switched to, from old long held beliefs. Nice easy thing to do? Eh, maybe it will take some focused attention 🙂

Identity
The identity level or level of I, is where we ask the question What does this mean to me, or about me, how does this make me feel? It is I who hold this set of beliefs and have these competencies / skills and behave in these specific ways in particular environments.
This is where the power game and EGO live and it has a powerful effect on what people will and will not do in terms of behaviour. Thus if we are asking a Leader to behave in a specific new way and he/she thinks that makes me feel like I’m not trusted… then they may say they’ll do it but the observed behaviour will be they don’t really…maybe we get lip service..
We must pay a lot of attention to this level for change to be a success

Spiritual / beyond identity / life purpose
The final deepest level is the spiritual level.

Let me share an experience I had, as an example.
In the early 1990s in Solihull town square, I saw a group of people singing and playing guitars, they seemed to be very happy and smiling. It is pouring rain but they don’t seem to mind. Other people (including me 🙂 ), singly and in small groups are rushing by, looking for shelter, not paying the first group any attention. This first group, it turns out are committed religious people and if you like,  are different to the others at this deep fundamental spiritual level. In other words, they have a purpose, who they think they are is different, the beliefs they hold are different, about good and bad things to do, what will work, what won’t work, what will happen in the future etc. etc…Also what they’ve become good at is different and of course, as I observed, the behaviour is certainly different from the norm in a rainy town square.

I would also point to the purpose in Mother Theresa or Ghandi, both seeing God in poverty and distress.

Let me end with another picture of the  Dilts’Logical Levels

 

Thinking about your behaviour, in some specific contexts:-

  • Think of a behaviour you perhaps don’t do so well?
  • Which level might hold the key? 🙂
  • Where a behaviour is expected of you and you don’t really do it, what are your beliefs about it?
  • What would it mean about you if you really did do it?
  • Where your behaviour could be perceived as negative, what is ‘driving’ that?
  • Just notice the behaviour of others, (at work or with family / friends) what might be at the root of those behaviours ? Perhaps seek their intent behind behaving this way. 🙂

Why do I do what I do? Part 1

Why do I do what I do?

I don’t know if you ever thought about this question, or maybe, think as I often do… Why do they keep doing that?

This model, (introduction  in this post)  enables a deeper understanding of what is going on, by describing what drives our behaviour,

Logical Levels Model

The model described here is from the art and science of Neuro Linguistic Programing (NLP). Specifically, my knowledge represented here, was gleaned from John Seymour and Robert Dilts. You can use the model with yourself, an individual, a group, a team, an organisation or even a country.

Assumptions

The model works from a premise that behind every human behaviour, there is always positive intent for someone. There are several influences on human behaviour and by understanding what those are, we are better able to facilitate a change in that behaviour, if we so desire.

If you wish to alter behaviour either in one individual (maybe yourself 🙂 ), or an Organisation, then think about each level described here and form a strategy to address it.

Figure 1 Logical Levels

Logical Levels Summary

Environmental factors determine the external opportunities or constraints a person has to react or respond to. Answer to the Questions where? and when?

Behaviour is made up of the specific actions, reactions or responses taken within the environment, what a person says and does. Answer to the question what?

Competency or capability guides and gives direction to behavioural actions through a mental map, plan or strategy. Answer to the question how?

Beliefs and values provide the reinforcement (motivation and permission) that supports or denies capabilities. Answer to the question why?

Identity factors determine overall purpose (mission) and shape beliefs and values through our sense of self. Answer to the Question who?

Spiritual  relates to the fact that we are part of a larger system that reaches beyond ourselves as individuals, family, community, the world and Universe. Answer to the question who, what else?

You may have heard people say , “ I can’t do that (or xxx) here”,  we can relate that to the levels thus:-

I …………Identity
Can’t …Belief
Do ……..Capability
That ….Behaviour
Here ….Environment

If you wish to alter behaviour either in one individual (remembering of course who changes you is you so, who changes them will be them 🙂 ), or an Organisation, then think about each level described here and form a strategy to address it. In fact if you listen closely to people (or yourself 🙂 ), as they express their ‘I can’t do that here,’for where they put an emphasis, it will tell you which level they have a problem, e.g. I can’t do that here, is probably pointing to a lack of skill. Now as Einstein said, the problem will not be resolved at the level it was observed, so we would probably have to work with Identity and beliefs as well as capability.

To be continued in Part 2

Why do I do what I do? Part 2

Relationships, can we measure how effective they are?

What if we had a way to monitor the status of important  relationships?

 

 

Figure 1 Measuring the ‘quality’ of Relationships

What Figure 1 shows, is a way to judge or map, the relationships we have. Note:- this will be your perception of the conductivity of the relationship and not necessarily the other person’s and it may not be the ‘truth’about the relationship, since it is a perception / belief.

I’m sure as you think about the various relationships you have, you can place them somewhere on the scale of -2 to +2. The idea is once you have the relationship mapped initially, then you can do something to improve it from say -2 Anti to -1 unhelpful. This could be useful when, for example, you consider the network you have built / are building, in your workplace / career.

It may be an idea, to never let  the others see what your perception of the relationship is 🙂

  • Why are relationships and the quality of them, important in the journey of you becoming you?

Make a list of the important relationships in your workplace.

  • What is the current status of each of them?
  • What actions are needed to move negative or neutral, in a positive direction?
  • What actions are needed in positive relationships to sustain them?

 

 

The Conductivity of Relationships

It is important when we think about the relationships we have, to consider their quality (measure of excellence).

Why?

  • We are social animals and live in relationship all the time.
  • Because the quality of  relationship will define what can flow across it and how easily it does that (both ways).

Why  have I used Conductivity in the title of this entry?

A fundamental aspect of electrical engineering concerns the conductivity of component parts. (Conductivity :- The ability or power to conduct or transmit heat, electricity, or sound.) Wood does not conduct, copper does, as per the diagram above when conduction happens, the light comes on 🙂

Take  the example of electricity running in one cable compared to running in another. If the cables / wires are of different diameters, then the current they are capable of carrying, without ‘burning up’ is defined by the cross- section of the wire,  e.g a tiny diameter copper wire is used in electric fires to generate heat and if too much current is passed through it, it will break (it is how electrical fuses work)
If you have large diameter copper wires such as used in London Underground, to transmit electric current to the rails, then the amount of current that can flow is much much greater than  flows in the electric fire.
In this metaphor you can see that the conductivity of the wires (proportional to the diameter) defines how much ‘energy’ can flow without breaking.
If we join two wires together with massively different conductivities, the energy that can flow without breaking, is determined by the conductivity of the smaller diameter wire. Solder a 13 amp fuse wire to the Underground wire and the maximum current that can flow without ‘blowing the fuse’, is 13 amps!

So it is with Human to Human engagement, relationships and communication.  What flows is determined by the lowest conductivity..

When communicating with other people the message can be lost if the connection between us lacks conductivity. If the flow (conductivity ) of one person does not match the flow (conductivity) of the other in a communicative act, then the message one is communicating to the other may be compromised. For example I am very enthusiastically speaking about this subject, my favourite, at 700 amps worth and you can only take 13 amps worth.. Your fuse blows, you do what we know as ‘glaze over’ #toomuchinformation

Think of some important relationships

  • How conductive are they?
  • What flows from the sender and is never received?
  • How can you make the relationship more conductive?

“We never listen to people who do not listen to us”

Why not try really listening to the other first 🙂

Perspectives on Relationships, a big part of You becoming You?

Relationship, (which may be for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime), describes how we relate to or interact with another or others, or indeed ourselves. It is useful to think about a relationship as separate from the people involved. A separate entity if you like, see Figure 1 Relationship.

Figure 1 Relationship

A salesman told this story about relationships.  He said,
“When I was about fourteen or fifteen, I remember doing history. I liked history and enjoyed writing the essays. One thing puzzled me though, my best mate, was always marked higher than me. Both of us agreed that my essays were superior and he could not understand what was going on either. We decided to do a swap, he’d submit my essays and I would submit his for a month. Well what do you know, he still got the higher marks (well he deserved them now 🙂 ) and when we swapped back the higher marks stayed with him. I learned a big lesson from that, which had a direct effect on my career decision, to be a salesman. Relationship is at least as important, if not sometimes more important, than what is delivered”

The three relationships this BLOG is written around
You need to pay attention to:-
 Your relationship with yourself
 Encompassing:- Me to myself
This is the key relationship and forms the foundation from which the other two are built. If it is not in good shape then the other two will not be either
 Your relationship with others
 Encompassing :- Me to them and them to me
Usually where we experience problems or joy
 Your spiritual relationship
 Encompassing:- Me to God (or e.g. Universe) and God (the Universe) to me
Where our true sense of fulfilment as a person lies, it is often talked about when it is not there, as an emptiness, a gap, something not right or missing in my life, (even although I’ve done all these things and made all this money and am very famous, I’m still searching for something)

Looking again at Figure 1 Relationship, you will see there are three entities, the relationship itself and the two participants.

A useful concept here is, to think about and perhaps design a work relationship, an alliance.  If you can create a separate relationship from, for example the ‘day to day / social’ relationship, then it is possible to discuss the ‘work’ without interfering with the main relationship.

Here is an example of manager / employee where each party can describe what they need in the relationship viz.
Employee:
• I need to be told my work is on track and given some guidance if it is not, at least once per month.
• It would help me to have a conversation with you at least once per week, to stay ‘connected’
• I would appreciate being left to do my job without being asked constantly what’s happening and then being told how to do it.
Manager:
• It would help me greatly to know of any potential problems as early as possible, no surprises.
• I would prefer that you complete your reports in a timely way without having to be ‘chased’
• I would like also that we can raise any issues promptly and openly share anything getting in the way of achieving results

The above is an example of one of the relationships with others that you may have. I’m not suggesting that every relationship you have is articulated in this way, however it is an option if the relationship is not as you desire it to be.