Tag: responding

Changing beliefs; do you believe you can?

Figure 1 IM POSSIBLE

Belief change  can be triggered by a set of techniques, from the world of Neuro Linguistic Programimg  (NLP), which can then alter how we are, in certain situations. A presupposition of course is, that you really do want to change.
The reasons you’d want to know about this are:-
• Our internal maps of ‘Reality’ are determined by the beliefs we hold.
• Some of those maps that we have learned, may not be useful to us now, as they are currently held.
• The maps are laid down as patterns in our subconscious mind.
• We can ‘change’ and build new maps using different beliefs that will alter our perception of situations , problems etc.

What is this about?
A useful way to help us move forward in a situation when we determine a belief is holding us back.

How can we use this?
Let’s take an example of, responding in the moment.  Using the observer notice what beliefs come up when there is an opportunity to respond in the moment and we do not respond, for example :-
Belief :- I need to be sure of my facts, before I can ask any questions.
A question to perhaps now ask yourself is, what do I need to believe in order make a response in the moment?
I need to believe that it is not important to always have the all the details and facts, for example.

 Figure 2 Change beliefs change your life

Maybe a more useful belief to hold is :- It is OK to respond in the moment, without knowing all the facts and details. Write this new belief down and read it back to yourself over several days. You may need to modify it slightly to have it fit into your ‘changing’ mindset e.g. it becomes, “I am learning it is ok to respond in the moment, without knowing all the facts and details.”
In the next situation that arises,  let’s say, you do respond and find to your astonishment, nobody dies!  And you got more of what you needed 🙂

More details of these techniques can be found in NLP books and teachings, just be aware that you can change your beliefs, you are not ‘stuck’ with them forever.

Figure 3 Belief chain break

Start to notice situations, when beliefs are not serving you.

Explore that situation, what triggers the belief?

How might you change it?

What would be a more useful belief to hold?

Write that more useful belief down, play with the words till they sound good, for example add the words, “I am Learning to…”

How does the Brain represent Reality, Part 2

More on Representational Systems

Interestingly language gives us some clues about the primary representational system used by ourselves and others. Ever heard the phrases, “Oh I see what you are saying”, “I see what you mean”. At one level it doesn’t seem to make sense how can they see what I’m saying or meaning?

What’s coming through is leaking from their primary representational system, in this case visual. Let’s look at some examples in the following figures.

Figure 1 visual                                       Figure 2  auditory

Figure 3 kinesthetic

When you respond in the moment,  what is the prime system V, A, K, you use?  Use your ‘Observer’  to notice which system seems dominant?

It may be kinesthetic (feelings) in the moment and  perhaps you recall it later using visual.
Knowing for example that you get a feeling, in the moment, can enable you to do something different, ( respond )
When I get this feeling in a meeting I will say something out loud to register my discomfort and buy myself some time, to reflect on how I will respond. e.g. “Er just a moment here, that doesn’t feel quite right, I’d like to reflect on it and come back If I may”

If someone was being annoying in a meeting, what is the prime system you use in recalling that memory?

Using the ‘Observer’ in the moment of making a judgement about a person, which system is dominant?

What would the judgement be if you used another system?

In general, just start to be aware of language used by others and yourself.

Do you have the same preferred representational system as they do? If not can you switch to using their kind of language?  That really helps rapport and communication if you match others in language.
Think about a ‘vision’ for yourself. Use each of the representational systems
o What do I see?
o What do I hear?
o What do I feel?

Knowing your preferred representational system and being able to exercise the others, will give you greater flexibility in  connecting and communicating.

It will help you enrich your internal experience of  reality, the ‘world’ out there. 🙂