Tag: Relationships

Relationships, can we measure how effective they are?

What if we had a way to monitor the status of important  relationships?

 

 

Figure 1 Measuring the ‘quality’ of Relationships

What Figure 1 shows, is a way to judge or map, the relationships we have. Note:- this will be your perception of the conductivity of the relationship and not necessarily the other person’s and it may not be the ‘truth’about the relationship, since it is a perception / belief.

I’m sure as you think about the various relationships you have, you can place them somewhere on the scale of -2 to +2. The idea is once you have the relationship mapped initially, then you can do something to improve it from say -2 Anti to -1 unhelpful. This could be useful when, for example, you consider the network you have built / are building, in your workplace / career.

It may be an idea, to never let  the others see what your perception of the relationship is 🙂

  • Why are relationships and the quality of them, important in the journey of you becoming you?

Make a list of the important relationships in your workplace.

  • What is the current status of each of them?
  • What actions are needed to move negative or neutral, in a positive direction?
  • What actions are needed in positive relationships to sustain them?

 

 

The Conductivity of Relationships

It is important when we think about the relationships we have, to consider their quality (measure of excellence).

Why?

  • We are social animals and live in relationship all the time.
  • Because the quality of  relationship will define what can flow across it and how easily it does that (both ways).

Why  have I used Conductivity in the title of this entry?

A fundamental aspect of electrical engineering concerns the conductivity of component parts. (Conductivity :- The ability or power to conduct or transmit heat, electricity, or sound.) Wood does not conduct, copper does, as per the diagram above when conduction happens, the light comes on 🙂

Take  the example of electricity running in one cable compared to running in another. If the cables / wires are of different diameters, then the current they are capable of carrying, without ‘burning up’ is defined by the cross- section of the wire,  e.g a tiny diameter copper wire is used in electric fires to generate heat and if too much current is passed through it, it will break (it is how electrical fuses work)
If you have large diameter copper wires such as used in London Underground, to transmit electric current to the rails, then the amount of current that can flow is much much greater than  flows in the electric fire.
In this metaphor you can see that the conductivity of the wires (proportional to the diameter) defines how much ‘energy’ can flow without breaking.
If we join two wires together with massively different conductivities, the energy that can flow without breaking, is determined by the conductivity of the smaller diameter wire. Solder a 13 amp fuse wire to the Underground wire and the maximum current that can flow without ‘blowing the fuse’, is 13 amps!

So it is with Human to Human engagement, relationships and communication.  What flows is determined by the lowest conductivity..

When communicating with other people the message can be lost if the connection between us lacks conductivity. If the flow (conductivity ) of one person does not match the flow (conductivity) of the other in a communicative act, then the message one is communicating to the other may be compromised. For example I am very enthusiastically speaking about this subject, my favourite, at 700 amps worth and you can only take 13 amps worth.. Your fuse blows, you do what we know as ‘glaze over’ #toomuchinformation

Think of some important relationships

  • How conductive are they?
  • What flows from the sender and is never received?
  • How can you make the relationship more conductive?

“We never listen to people who do not listen to us”

Why not try really listening to the other first 🙂