Tag: Point of view

The Arc of Uncertainty

 

What is this all about?

“The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition that impels us to unfold our powers.” Erich Fromm

In my thinking about certainty and the brain,  it has become clear to me, that :-

  • We are born – we are uncertain
  • We learn – we become certain
  • We learn – we become uncertain again

In other words as we learn, we become certain, about what we learn, for example, Santa Claus 🙂 ….and then no Santa Claus 🙁 then as parents 🙂

The brain uses what it learns to  predict, to be ‘certain’ about what will happen in reality and then how to deal with that.  See diagram below

As the diagram says, prediction is a primary function of the brain, using the experience it has built up, the Beliefs / Lenses it has laid down, about how to deal with reality.

Because our brain really does like to be certain and does not like being uncertain, it can become quite stubborn, in clinging on to its beliefs  , as you may recognise,when you are holding on to your Point of View as if your very life depended on you being right 🙂

You may notice, that there are many of us who are certain about many things, triggering this quote, “Beware the man who is certain, he is the cause of all the problems in  the world!”

If we reach (not all of us do), the second ‘age of uncertainty’ on the Arc, then we are ‘OK’ at that time, with being uncertain, exploring, learning and realising most of our ‘learned certainty’ before, was an illusion 🙂

Reality will do what it does, (it is what it is). You may believe you can control it (the illusion). You cannot.

The next time you react emotionally, see if you can notice who or what, you are trying to control? (Because you were ‘certain’ reality would do as you had predicted / believed it would and there was a mismatch)

As human beings, one of the main ways we stress, is by setting an expectation (prediction) that then, is not met 🙂

The level to which we stress, is directly proportional to the attachment we have to the outcome being the way we predicted 🙂

If you detect “should, must, have to, ought to,” in a sentence somewhere, then there will be levels of stress, when reality does what it does and outcomes do not match the expectations / predictions,  made by your brain

  • Where are you on the Arc?
  • How certain are you of that answer?
  • What are you currently trying to control in reality, that is stressing you?
  • What would it mean, for you, if your beliefs were just that, beliefs?
  • What changed (needs to change) in you, for you to be ok with reality being uncertain?

A point of view is just a view from a point!

Points of view are interesting, in that we defend them sometimes as if our life was depending on that point of view being the absolute ‘truth’.

What’s going on?

Well in the picture above, Black Beret on the left has a belief  and remember the definition of a belief as (a lens through which we perceive reality) that there are Four, that’s what he believes, backed up by what he sees, the ‘evidence’. Oh and of course he has the common belief we all have, ‘I am right’. Now look at the perspective (point of view) that No Beret (his brother 🙂 ) holds. His belief, his lens, tells him there are Three and  he has the ‘evidence’ to back it up and of course he has the belief ‘I am right’ also. Oh dear!

It would actually all be fine if our brains did not care about disagreement and just played “yeah whatever” and sometimes it does.

It just does not care!

And sometimes it does!

What is making the difference?

Caring.. If I am invested in the point of view and by that I mean, it is important for me, it means something to me.

There is something else however:-

When you disagree with me,  my brain perceives that as an attack, a threat.

Then, what happens? I will cover this in much more detail in a future post, for now though, just be aware of how the brain developed. I will use the concept of the Triune Brain  proposed by Neurologist Dr Paul Maclean, for simplicity here (you will find, not all Neurologists hold the same point of view as Paul 🙂 ) However it is useful to talk briefly about what is going on when there is disagreement.

At a simple level, the reptilian brain ‘perceives’ the disagreement as an attack, (and by the way in any situation, this part of the brain gets control first, to keep us safe).  The amygdala then,  get control and put the brain in fight / flight/ freeze mode. This releases Adrenalin (to prepare us for the ‘fight’) the rational brain (pre-frontal Cortex) is also shut down, so we do not have access to superior executive powers of thinking.  All that is ‘running’ in the Brain is “my life is in danger – I must win this fight!!”  And  by the way we also cease to listen to what the others are saying, we are just listening for a gap to get our point of view articulated more!  Sometimes we  don’t even wait for the gap, we just talk and nobody’s listening !!  That I’m sure, you have seen many times with points of view, in politics for example 🙂

Let me finish here with two points of view on a mountain, Ben Nevis in Scotland. Both are talking about the same mountain.

“Come on, let’s amble up this wee hill”

“No way, that’s an enormous challenge”

  • How might you work with points of view differently now?
  • How might you respond rather than defend or attack or both?
  • Would holding differing points of view perhaps be a good time to practice the Pause?